Crush List: Week of July 15


This is what I’m using to track my weight. They also make a fantastic apps so that you can track on the go. 

Here’s what I like. I like that it’s easy to use and that I can view reports so I can better manage my diet. You also get guidance based on what you have logged so you can modify your diet better. They project possible 5 week weight loss if you ate what you logged that day every day. So for example it would say, ‘If you ate like this every day you would weigh X in 5 weeks’. 

The major reason I love using this app as opposed to Weight Watchers is that you really see first hand how what you eat has consequences and you can make more informed decisions. I find that I’m logging my food and being confident about my choices and feeling more guided. I haven’t felt too deprived but I do see that 1200 calories isn’t a lot so I think hard about how to make it count. Which is good. Plus it connects to my Fitbit which is nice.

2. Whole Foods 365 Brands

You pretty much have to take out a mortgage to shop at Whole Foods. Personally I prefer Trader Joes because we get more for our money however, I do love Whole Foods’ 365 brand. Most store brands are pretty horrible but these guys do it right. Where they really nail it is in their frozen foods section. Most major brands like Dole, Target & pals kind of screw you on price and how much you get.

The thing I love about both the Trader Joes and 365 brands is that their frozen vegetables actually taste decent. Most frozen vegetables taste like a f*cking punishment.

3. iFitness

I’m not sure if there’s an Android version but there should be. I like this because I can program all of my workouts (cardio and strength) as well as get demos for the strength training portions. The downside is that it doesn’t have a lot of machine workouts for your gams but I think there’s a reason for this so that’s ok, I just add it. 


We moved to a new apartment this past weekend. I’m so so so happy. While I liked many things about our old place, there was a lot that I didn’t like. It was like living in an attic. We weren’t conveniently close to things. It got to feel like a burden. If we wanted food delivered it was either Chinese, pizza, Jimmy Johns or Subway. There was also no reason to leave the house a lot.

When I first moved in, it was great. I’d make us walk to the supermarket or farmers market. It got old really really fast. I think us not having a car made it hard. The transit system cut a lot of routes and reorganized turning it into an epic quest to get home. We only lived 5 miles from downtown but it felt like we were in Siberia. 

Our apartment that we’re living in now is a significant upgrade. It isn’t the Taj Mahal but after the shitty apartments we’ve had, it sure feels like it. Bigger windows, a view of the lake,decent price.It feels like a living space rather than a punishment. 

I think mostly it’s my fault. I’ve never felt that I deserved anything nice. I think it’s a Catholic guilt thing. Like life should be a long slow march with strife. I also realized that denying myself nice things was just a symptom of never taking risks. Like if I don’t have nice things, if I lose them, it’s not a big deal. I think having nice things and doing nice things for yourself is also being kind to yourself. When you take care of yourself you’re happier and more productive. You realize, ‘Hey, I want to keep this’. I think after college (maybe even before) I stopped doing nice things because I didn’t deserve it. After college I was on my own so I felt that I was always in survival mode. I lived my life assuming the worst.

It wasn’t until I met my fella that I realized that I COULD have nice things.I was so afraid of change and risk that I was always self sabotaging my own efforts. I realized that 

I deserved to have nice things too. I deserved to live in a nice place. 

Mostly I realized that I don’t want to be a tourist in other people’s lives. I want something nice for myself.

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail.

John Donne

On Choosing a New Weight Loss Plan.

I quit Weight Watchers.

I lost a lot of weight on the program initially but I ended up with diet rage and an eating disorder. I think back then it was still a good program and it really does a lot of good for people. I also wonder if it enables people as well. You aren’t forced to buy their products but it does feel a little cultish. Ultimately I need to remember that at the end of the day it’s a business and they have a bottom line. Yes they want people to lose weight but they make their money off of returning members who don’t lose that weight. 

I ultimately decided to quit for several reasons. It makes me angry. While the points system is great, you don’t really see the impact of the calories that you’re eating. Fruits and veggies are 0 points foods which is absurd. Fruits have high sugar (granted good sugar) content. Plus I feel that it sort of encourages a binge behavior. I like that you have free points in case you need to splurge but ultimately, I don’t feel that it’s right for me.

Basically I just don’t trust how they do their points format any more. While I appreciate a lot of the good habits and educationI received, I’m mvoing on.I mean, a soda may be ‘x’ points but when you see that against your real calorie intake as opposed to points, it really makes you think.

I’ve decided to either use or I like the charts and graphs to ensure that I”m not eating too much of one (say sugar or protein). I find these

metrics helpful. That’s the one thing that Weight Watchers tools didn’t have that I think is a major detriment. You check it off for yourself but I think it’s better to have metrics integrated with food entry. In addition, my other complaint, is that these leaders aren’t dietitians or nutritionists. You get the basics but that’s about it. You are educated in proper eating but you can’t get feedback on your nutrition. I could literally lose weight eating donuts and hot dogs as long as I met my daily points target. Plus I don’t like the cultish feeling of “Most people fail at weight loss, you can’t do it without us.” While the first part is true, I just don’t like that needy feeling. I don’t want to have to feel like I have to pay $40 a month to hear the same thing every meeting without the support I really need. I can meet with a dietician 2 x per month for that price and really talk about things. 

Finally, I just want to eat, log, and be done with it. I finally realized that weight loss is simple. Eat healthy, move more, don’t eat like shit, relax and have fun. Ultimately I feel that weight loss is about declaring your independence and acknowleging your bad habits and bad food choices.If you feel that you need to rely on these things, are you really getting to the root of the problem? 

Again, I think WW is one of the best plans out there and they make a positive difference in people’s lives. It’s just not for me.

LeSabotage Loses: Crush List: Week of June 10th

Just a few things that I love and wanted to share with you. These aren’t endorsements or are things that will cure cancer or world hunger. Just things I like.  Use at your own risk or enjoyment.

1. Fitbook: Best thing ever. Log your workouts and food. Small and handy. 

2. Aveda: Soothing Aqua Therapy bath salts. No not THAT kind, the kind that makes your muscles relax and your spirit calm. 

3. Sleep Pillow App (iPhone/iPad/Really needs to be on Android too): White noise machine. Good for relaxing and sleeping. Plus it has a timer. 

On Wanting to Lose Weight and Not Shitting in the Street

Last year, Mila Kunis said something like, “If you’re not losing weight you must not want to.” When I first heard that I was like, “Wow. F*ck you!”.  Then I started thinking. I think that there is a kernel of truth in this statement.

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Quick Note: Salads & Getting Veggies

I hate salads. I like them on the side and sometimes as a meal they’re great. However I ‘m so damned sick of them. They’re a great way of getting your daily requirements but…yawn. I feel like I’m being punished. Even if it’s tasty it’s like, “Sigh”.

So I’ve started looking at other ways of getting my veggies. Soups and smoothies are my favorite right now as well as more unconventional salads using quinoa and barley. For smoothies, I just blend everything together and use water. It’s yummy. 

Crush List: Week of June 3

Disclaimer: These are items that I like and want to share. I’m not a fitness expert or health professional so don’t go around saying, ‘Well SHE said I’d lose weight with this’. Always consult with your doctor first. Okay?

1. Cap Barbell 40-Pound Dumbell Set:

Personally I prefer the gym, but having some equipment at home can add a little extra insurance.


2. Confidence Fitness Space Saving X Bike:

This bike is lovely. You’re not going to get a gym quality workout BUT you are going to burn some calories and it’s better than sitting on your butt. Plus it’s a space saver so it folds up nicely. I like using it to warm up before a walk or get that extra exercise when the weather is crap.

3. Body Bar 19-Pounds Weighted Bar (4-Feet Long):

I am in love with these. Perfect for biceps, triceps, and squats. Plus it doesn’t hurt my neck. I haven’t bought this yet because I’m pretty sure that the fella will kill me if I did since we’re moving soon. It WILL be mine though. 

Traveling and Staying Healthy: OMFG!

So I got engaged to the most wonderful man over the weekend! Yay! This also puts a fire under my butt to lose that 100 lbs for the wedding. I HAVE to lose that weight anyway. I know what range I should be in and as long as I’m in that range then I’m happy. No reason to kill myself over it. At the same time, it has to happen. I saw a picture of myself sitting outside our new apartment and I was so disgusted. 

What DOES get me stressed out is staying healthy on the road. This means working out and eating healthy foods. This was a problem long before I got engaged.

The first time I did Weight Watchers I became so obsessed with losing weight that I was eating super minimal calories. If I missed a workout or ate poorly I would nearly give myself a nosebleed. At that time they counted points for veggies and fruits (which they should still do anyway) but I was effing starving ALL the time. I was terrified to eat anything else.  It got so bad that I ended up having a full blown eating disorder. I always was a healthy person and this was just damned psychotic. It’s no wonder I went on an epic 4 year bender. Now it’s a little bit easier because I’ve rewired my brain through therapy to understand that my body needs fuel in order to exercise (no shit right). When I eat, I perform better. 

Frankly I need exercise and healthy food to live. I get crabby if I eat terribly and don’t work out. Like REALLY crabby.  

I’m heading to a wedding in a few weeks and have to scout out places ahead of time so that I can not only stay on top of my running program but also work out. One thing that pisses me off is how, when this is important to me, others are like, “Oh you can put it off to tomorrow”. Look, I’m sorry my quest for health is a fucking inconvenience. It’s kind of like when I eat healthy and make proper portions for myself, people are all, ‘Oh that’s not enough food!!’. YES IT IS ENOUGH!!! COME ON! We do that in my family a little bit and it drives me nuts. All of a sudden people are fucking resentful dietitians. They then try to feed you some Today Show quackery to justify the fact that they aren’t doing anything about it themselves.  

Now that the weight is FINALLY coming off (I’m not squeezing into a work chair), I don’t want to undo the progress of the past few weeks.  One big thing that I have to remember is that one day (or even two) isn’t going to undo a whole lot as long as I meet my steps goal. But no more than that. A lot of people say, ‘Oh just run outside’. Um, yeah, I’m kind of porky and worried about my knees. But, if I go easy, I should be ok.